The Inner Critic and Eating Disorders:
How IFS Can Help You Challenge Self-Judgment
Picture this: You wake up in the morning, stretch, and before you even have time to process your first thought, a voice in your head chimes in—“Ugh, you didn’t sleep enough. You should’ve gone to bed earlier. You have no discipline.”
Then you go to get dressed: “Those jeans are a little tight. Probably because you “overdid” it yesterday. Why can’t you just get it together?” And before you even make it to breakfast, you’re already exhausted from the mental onslaught.
The Inner Critic has entered the chat.
For folks struggling with eating disorders, this critical voice is often on full volume, constantly narrating, criticizing, and enforcing rigid rules about food, body image, and self-worth. The Inner Critic doesn’t just suggest things—it dictates, shames, and pressures, making recovery feel impossible. But here’s the good news: That voice, as loud and as persuasive as it may be, is not the core you. And Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can help you separate from it, understand it, and even—dare I say—soften its grip on your life.
First Things First: What is IFS?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz that recognizes we all have different “parts” inside of us. We have different internal voices, emotions, and belief systems that shape how we interact with the world.
IFS categorizes our parts into three main groups:
Managers – These are proactive parts that try to keep things in order (hello, perfectionism and self-criticism!).
Firefighters – These parts react quickly when we feel overwhelmed, often in self-soothing ways that can become harmful (like binge eating or over-exercising).
Exiles – These are the wounded, vulnerable parts of us that carry pain, shame, and trauma. Often, our Inner Critic is working overtime to keep these parts hidden and protected.
Then there’s the Core Self, which is the most compassionate, calm, and wise part of us. It’s the version of you that exists without all the judgment, anxiety, or past wounds driving the bus.
And spoiler alert: That Core Self is still in there, no matter how loud the Inner Critic gets.
Why Does the Inner Critic Get So Loud for people with Eating Disorders?
The Inner Critic develops as a way to keep us safe. I know, ironic, right? But really—it believes that by keeping us in check, setting impossible standards, and shaming us into compliance, that it’s helping.
For example, let’s say you were bullied about your body as a kid. Your Inner Critic might have developed a rule: If I stay small, people won’t make fun of me. Or maybe you grew up in a household where perfectionism was expected—your Inner Critic might have decided: If I control everything, I’ll finally be good enough.
The problem? This “protection” strategy doesn’t actually protect. Instead, it fuels anxiety, shame, and disordered eating behaviors that ultimately keep you stuck. The Inner Critic thrives on rigidity and fear, making it incredibly difficult to heal without learning how to relate to challenges differently.
How IFS Helps Challenge the Inner Critic
IFS isn’t about silencing the Inner Critic or waging war against it—it’s about understanding and softening towards it. The goal is to build a relationship with this part so it can step back and make space for your Core Self to lead.
Here’s how that process unfolds:
1. Identifying the Critic’s Role
The first step in IFS work is recognizing that your Inner Critic isn’t you—it’s just one part of you. And like every other part, it has a job.
Ask yourself:
What is my Inner Critic trying to do for me? Is it trying to protect me from rejection? Is it trying to push me toward a goal it thinks will make me happy? Often, people are shocked to realize that beneath all the shame, the Critic’s intentions were never cruel—it just didn’t know a healthier way to help.
2. Separating from the Critic
Once you start seeing the Inner Critic as a part rather than as the truth, you create space between you and it. This is where things start to shift. Instead of believing, “I am never enough,” you might begin recognizing, “A part of me feels like I’m never enough.”
This tiny shift in language is powerful. It reminds you that you have other parts—including a compassionate, capable Self that doesn’t buy into these judgments.
3. Getting Curious Instead of Combative
Most people instinctively want to fight back against their Inner Critic: Shut up, I’m tired of listening to you! But in IFS, we approach it with curiosity instead of aggression.
Instead of saying, “I hate this part of me,” try asking: “What are you afraid will happen if you stop criticizing me?” The answers can be eye-opening. Many people discover that their Critic fears they’ll spiral out of control, be rejected, or fail in some irreversible way. Once we understand this fear, we can start addressing it from a place of self-compassion.
4. Releasing the Critic’s Extreme Role
Once the Inner Critic feels heard (yes, even critical parts just want to be acknowledged), we can begin helping it shift into a healthier role. Maybe instead of attacking you, it can learn to offer gentle guidance. Maybe it can step back and trust that your Core Self has things under control.
When the Critic isn’t running the show, there’s space for more balance, more flexibility, and more kindness toward yourself—all essential ingredients for healing an eating disorder.
What Life Looks Like When the Inner Critic Softens
Imagine waking up in the morning and instead of being met with criticism, you hear something gentler: “Hey, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate today. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
Imagine eating a meal without a voice telling you what you should or shouldn’t be doing. Imagine making choices based on what feels good to you, rather than what a self-critical part insists you must do to be “good enough.”
When the Inner Critic isn’t driving the bus, life starts to feel lighter. Recovery feels more possible. And—perhaps most importantly—you start to feel like you again.
Final Thoughts
The Inner Critic can be relentless, but it doesn’t have to control your life forever. With IFS, you can learn to engage with it differently—acknowledging its fears, understanding its motives, and ultimately guiding it toward a role that serves you, rather than the other way around.
So, the next time your Inner Critic starts up with its usual script, pause. Take a breath. And remember: That voice is not the core you. And the core you? They’re compassionate, strong, and fully capable of healing.
If you’re ready to start this work, IFS therapy can be a game-changer. Let’s get curious together. Let’s find the real you beneath all that judgment. And let’s remind your Inner Critic that you are more than enough—just as you are.
Want to Learn More? Check out these blogs:
On All Things Eating Disorder Recovery:
Navigating Medical Weight Stigma While in Eating Disorder Recovery
STG is helping Gen Z Find the Path to Recovery from Eating Disorders
8 Essential Tips for Parents: Navigating Back-to-School with Teens in Eating Disorder Recovery
An Alternative to FBT for treating teens with Eating Disorders
5 Ways to Achieve Body Neutrality During the Halloween Season
On All Things Internal Family Systems:
Our Services:
Stark Therapy Group offers therapy for all types of eating disorders, including Anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder and Bulimia. We offer a 3-tiered family based support for teens in eating disorder recovery. We treat anxiety, depression and general mental health conditions. We offer 3-tiered family based support for teens with general mental health issues. We also offer couples therapy. We would love to help you on your mental health journey. Reach out today for a free consultation!